The Hanyou Hazards
by LewdaKris
Summary: Short Stories Insanity! A collection of ludicrous comedy. You know it's on now...
1. The Non Hesitant Game

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Note From The Author: What's up? It's back! You know what time it is. I've decided to handle the Hanyou Hazards all on my own. I have to apologize to an unfortunate shortcoming by co-writing with my classmate (Sorry homey.). Because of that I can certainly remember a funny ass flame. It trips me out to this day, man. That bull is not going to fade me!

As a matter of fact, every since I've became an author here of ff.net I've been raided with numerous viruses. I see that there's a few crash dummies are intent on taking me out the game. Let me tell those fools a little something-something: Your boy ain't stupid! Don't try me. I can see the writings on the wall you know.

Well I know that I'm on someone's shit list now. Let me just get on with this...

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Disclaimer: We know that by now.

****

Inuyasha

The Hanyou Hazards

Sketch 1: Playing The 'Non Hesitant' Game

Kagome and Sangou listened to the radio intently. The radio station was presenting a challenging game to the locals. Whoever manages to successfully overcome the standards for the game wins a special prize. Though it seems simple it actually harder than most would initially think. The jubilant voice of the radio host answers a call.

__

"Hello! Would you like a chance to win five hundred thousand yen?"

The girl on the other end squealed. "Yes! I would love to!"

"Kagome..." Sangou beckoned. "What were the rules of the game again?"

Kagome shushed her friend. "Listen and you'll find out, Sangou." She whispered.

The DJ clarified her the instructions. _"Okay. You must not stutter... you cannot stammer... no 'ums' and 'ahs'... and lastly you can't hesitant for more than five seconds. Got it?"_

The girl responded. "Got it."

"I think I get it now." Sangou considered.

__

"Alright. You have thirty seconds to name as many American hip hop stars as you can. If you manage to go over twenty you win the prize!!"

"Got cha!"

__

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

__

"Three... two... one... and go!"

The ticking of a clock can be heard.

The girl began "Big Boi 3000... Dr. Dre... Chingy... Pastor Troy... Ludacris..." She paused but she didn't exceed the five seconds limit. "2Pac... Eminem... 50 Cent... Ying Yang Twins... Fred Durst... Field Mob... Trick Daddy... Nelly... DMX... Nas... Lil' Flip... Notorious B.I.G." Her mind went into oblivion again.

"Don't tell me!!" Kagome cursed the girl's luck. "That's an easy category!!"

"Shh!" Sangou shushed.

The girl uttered her shortcoming. "Um..."

A buzzer sounded.

__

"Whoa! Kid, you was on a roll but you failed." Said the DJ. "Thanks for playing."

The girl burst out into sobs.

Kagome had already took her cellular phone out of her pocket. "I'm having a crack at it."

Sangou scoffed at her. "You think that you can win? It's actually harder than it seems you know."

"Don't be silly." Kagome reassured. "I'll be prepared. I've already jot down on paper of any possible categories. When I read them out, I'm bound to win that prize!"

"Do what you do." Sangou dismissed.

Kagome hastily dailed the number to the radio station. "It's ringing!" She said shrilly.

"Good for you." Sangou replied as she narrows her eyes in a bored manner.

The radio DJ chirped on the radio. _"Hello caller! Would you like a chance to win five hundred thousand yen?"_

Kagome practically roared into the phone. "Hell yea!"

__

"Alright, alright! It looks like you're ready. You know the rules?"

"YES! NO HESITATION!"

__

"Okay, here's what you gotta do: In thirty five seconds, you must name at least fifty countries. Are you up to the challenge?"

That subject caught her completely off guard.

"Yea... sure."

"Uh oh..." Sangou chuckled.

__

"You're on in... three... two... one..."

The clock began to tick.

Kagome inhaled a breath then released. "Japan... Canada... France... Russia... United States... China... Mexico... India... Egypt... Madagascar... Brazil... Chad... Oman... Burma... Thailand... Cambodia... Korea... Mongolia... Greenland... England... Spain... Germany... South Africa... Nigeria..." She starts to slow down a bit.

'Oh shit!" Sangou thought in surprise as she gather herself closer to Kagome on the couch. 'She might make it!'

15 seconds remaining...

"Portugal... Austria... Iran... Iraq... Afghanistan... Panama... Jamaica... Laos... Italy... Greece... Poland... Belgium... Puerto Rico... um... ah...

The buzzer went off

"Shit! Damn it all!" Kagome swore.

__

"Aw! Too bad, home girl!! You was on it like grease on fried chicken! That was a brilliant effort!"

"I bet..." Kagome muttered and then she slammed her fist on her thighs. "Damn! How many countries that I named?"

"Thirty-seven." Sangou answered nonchalantly.

"This is tough." She realized.

__

"Hi there! Would you like to take today's challenge?"

A very familiar voice answered. "Yes." A malicious and dulcet feminine voice.

"That's Kagura!" Sangou and Kagome exclaimed at the same time.

__

"Okay! In order to win the prize you must name ten anime shows in fifteen seconds. Got that?"

"I'm ready."

"Damn! They're practically giving her the prize!" Exclaimed Kagome.

"If Kagura cannot get this the I really pity her further for being Naraku's daughter." Said Sangou.

__

"Saddle up! You're on in three... two... one... GO!!"

The clock begins to tick again...

"Let's see..." Kagura began. "Totally Spies... uh... Teen Titans..."

The buzzer immediately went off.

__

"Aw man! You're lost before you really started! Sorry!"

"Huh?"

"Crash dummy!" Kagome and Sangou guffawed.

A background voice can be heard. "Dumbass! You need to stop smoking my marijuana!" It was Naraku.

"But Dad!"

"Shut up! Go to bed!" He was mocking her but he couldn't suppress his laughter.

__

"Next caller please! Hello!"

"Good day." A woman spoke. It was a lovely melodious voice.

"I know that voice." Kagome realized with a frown. "It's Kikyou."

__

"Alright! Do you wanna attempt today's challenge?"

"No need." Kikyou replied. "I just want to give a few shout outs."

__

"Fire away!!"

"Inuyasha! I'm still deeply intent on dragging you to hell with me!" She warned. "So you can neither run nor hide. Kagome..."

Kagome gulped. The beautiful countenance in Kikyou's voice became a hostile and menacing one.

"Get on my level!" She hissed. "I'm going to see you at the club tonight. And Naraku: When I see you, I'm going to bust you in your sorry--"

The DJ cut her off. _"Ooh! Too violent!! Next caller!"_

Sangou snatched the cell phone from Kagome's grasp. "I think that I should get a try in this." She declared as she immediately dialed the radio station's number.

At that time a sweaty Inuyasha and Miroku came into the room. The hanyou was twirling a basketball. "We're back. Bankotsu and his boys beat us by two points. They were just lucky."

"Anyway it was a good game." Said Miroku."

"Well I'm off to take a dip in the springs." Inuyasha said. "That tough game we had today got me smelling like hot dogs."

"You want me to join you?" Kagome purred as she gave him a seductive look. "I'll wash your back and you'll wash mine."

"Keh. Come along minion." Inuyasha signaled jokingly as Kagome followed.

Miroku was thinking of the same with Sangou.

__

"Brace yourself! You must name at least fifteen male's names that starts with the letter M in twenty seconds. You down?"

"Right..." Sangou muttered.

__

"Three... two... one... it's on!"

Tick tock...

Sangou leaned on the arm of the couch. Somehow her position was enticing Miroku.

"Mark... Marcus... Marth... Malcolm... Martin... Michael... Mandrel... Max... Mickey... Mitsurugi... Mario..."

Miroku drew nearer as he sat on the couch. His eyes were very intent on Sangou's derriere. 

"Michiru... Marlon..." Sangou's heartbeat began to flutter. She's almost there...

'Damn! Just two more...' She mused frantically.

"...McCray..." She went on hiatus.

At that very moment, Miroku laid his hand on her booty.

"MIROKU!!!" Sangou shouted in outrage. "You... mother fucker!!!"

Sirens went off.

__

"Congratulation caller!! You're the winner of our challenge!! The five hundred thousand yen goes too you!!"

"YEAH!!! I WON!! I WON!!" She screamed hysterically.

"_Alright. Give us your name and address and we shall mail you the check you lucky fox, you!"_

Sangou proceeded as the DJ allowed the line to cut off from the radio waves. He received the information and he confirmed it. A big check comes into her mail tomorrow.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT! I WON!!" She starts to bounce up and down and Miroku ogled at her tender body as it rippled with her every moment. She ran and embraced Miroku. "Miroku I won!! Can you believe it!?"

Miroku was flabbergast. "What exactly did you win, dear Sangou?"

"FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND YEN!!" She exclaimed. "Wait until I tell Kagome about this!"

"Five hundred thousand yen!!? That's fantastic!!" Miroku followed.

"Isn't it!?" Her and Miroku hopped up and down euphorically during their embrace. Miroku, being the lecher that he is, took this as an opportunity. He leaned onto her and fell on the couch with his body on top of hers. He went in for a long, hot kiss.

"PERVERT!!"

She let him have it.

****

*BOP!*

"You're a slick fellow aren't you?" She said dangerously. "Serves you right, loser!"

She left the room.

"Damn... women are never hesitant to beat me up." Miroku grumbled.

****

END

That game is all the rage in South Georgia and Central Florida.

NEXT CHAPTER

The Internet.

Be afraid. Be very afraid...


	2. The Web

Inuyasha

The Hanyou Hazards

Sketch Two

The Web.

This chapter was inspired by a sketch I've seen on Dave Chappelle's Show a few weeks ago. Dave queried an interesting question: What if you actually went into a area-- like say a mall, that is literally the internet? Oh boy! I can see the madness now! There's going to be things that you mat enjoy, like say online shopping for clothing, music, videos... you know. But alas, there are definitely going to be some things that one will not tolerate such as... nah! Best not get into that.

Just check this chapter out and you'll see what I mean...

"Serious? You birthday's coming up?" Inuyasha queried into his cell phone. "Damn. I nearly forgotten all about it. Well in that case, what would you like for your birthday?"

__

"Anything would be nice, Inuyasha." Replied Kagome earnestly. "As long as it comes from the heart. You know, nothing too expensive and definitely nothing cheap."

"Hmm. How about I take a browse at The Gap, or maybe The Body Shop..." A sly, lecherous grin came on his face. "I know, how about some fancy lingerie from Victoria's Secret?"

Kagome scoffed. _"I believe you been around Miroku a little bit too often."_

"It's a possibility." Inuyasha shrugged. "Alright, I'm heading out in a few. Love you."

__

"Love you too." Kagome chirped, making a smooching noise before she hung up.

"Okay... let's see. I'll just buy her a few outfits, some roses, and a birthday cake. That'll make her day." A knock was heard at his door. "Come on in Miroku. What do you want?"

His companion entered the room. "How's it going? Got any plans?"

"Sort of." Inuyasha responded as he sat up on the couch. "I need to go shopping today. Kagome's birthday is in a few days."

"Is that so?" Miroku suddenly beamed. "Good timing. That is just what I wanted to talk to you about. You see, there is this new mall that just had it's grand opening a few weeks ago and I was wondering would you like to check it out."

Inuyasha shot up from the couch. "This couldn't have been a better opportunity! Yea c'mon, let's go see what is this place all about."

"This mall is called... **_The Web." _**Miroku explained. A spooky feeling filled the room as he said the name.

"Okay... This must be one hell of a mall to earn the name **_The Web._**" He grimaced as he felt the eerie vibes again. Even a scary orchestra sample was heard.

"Alright then. Let's get on the road."

***

The Web was... without argument, the biggest and most spacious mall Inuyasha had even shopped in. The entire place was overcrowded with civilization and stores alike. As a matter of fact, The Web can pass up as a city in it's own right. He gaped at the beautiful scenery in awe. He almost forgot what he was here for...

To buy gifts for Kagome.

"Damn. This place is definitely lively." Inuyasha commented. "There's way too many stores . I'm starting to feel as thought that is a bad thing."

"You think so?" Miroku queried as he caught the glimpse of a shapely long legged beauty with flashy clothing walk by. "I'll say, there's a whole lot of beautiful women hanging around today."

"You can say that again." Inuyasha whistled as he say another lovely young woman bending over.

Almost as though, the 'flashy' woman heard Miroku's comment, she waved at him and made her way over to the two. Miroku shot her a disbelieving look as she regarded him. "Hi there. It's a wonderful day, is it not?"

Miroku momentarily snapped out of her trance. "Why yes, my dear! It certainly is a nice day! Although, not nearly as nice as you."

The tall blonde burst into giggles. "Yay! I finally got one!!" She bounced, putting Miroku under her trance again as he paid special attention to her elastic and bubbly chest. "It's my lucky day! I have another costumer!"

"Costumer?" Miroku queried, then with realization, his face went into a philandering sneer. "Hmm. I see. You know, my pockets are swollen with cash. But that's not the only thing that's swollen in my breeches. If you know what I mean?" He winked at her.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Oh boy..."

The blonde grinned. "No, silly! I'm not a prostitute, well at least not now. I'm selling Viagra!"

Miroku seemed offended. "What!!? Listen lady, do I look like an old man to you? Or Mr. Heifner for that matter? I don't need any dick enhancements." He made a face. "Not now, anyway."

The blonde made an sad face. "Aw... I'm sorry. Oh well, I'll just be on my way..."

"Hold it." Miroku commanded. "What's your number? Maybe we can date sometimes. Besides, I can prove to you that I don't need any Viagra."

The pretty blonde blush and went into her pocket and gave Miroku her business card. "I'll be waiting." She kissed him on his cheeks and walked off.

"Still got it." Miroku said proudly.

"Maybe so..." Inuyasha grinned. "But she tried you when she offered you Viagra."

"She knew better than that. She'll soon learn that it don't take a wonder drug to satisfy women." Miroku declared. "I can see it now..."

"Miroku! No! Don't! Stop!" Inuyasha mocked. "She's not even going to let you lay a finger on her."

"You're wrong." Miroku retorted confidently. "It's more like: 'Miroku! No! Don't stop!!" 

"Right..."

As they were about to approach a fashion store, a young man approached them. He came from seemingly out of nowhere. He had several videos, dvds, music cd's, and games on him. "Yo partner, what's up?" He called out.

"What cha know?" Inuyasha beckoned as his attention was ensnared by the man.

"Man, I got every piece of the latest media you want. I got the latest music cd's, games like, Playstaion 1 and 2... even 3, XBox, Gamecube, triangle, sphere... all the games man!" The man explained.

"No thanks. I'm fine" Inuyasha dismissed offhandedly.

"Okay. Alright. Maybe games aren't you thing." The seller said. "How about music? Yeah! I got that Lil Flip, new Brittany Spears, Kanye West, Evanescence , Alicia Keys, Lil Jon, Eminem, Trick Daddy, Outkast... man I even got that new three disk 2Pac that no one knows about."

"No thanks..."

"Okay then... DVD's! Man I got everything that's on video at discounted prices. I even have the shit that's in theatres. You know, Standing Tall, Passion, Hell Boy, The Punisher, Kill Bill volume 2, Starsky and Hutch..."

"Damn man! I'm fine." Inuyasha assured, trying his best not to be irritated.

"Porno! Yeah, I got you covered on that! I even got that R. Kelly when he went into that Girl Scout meeting..."

Miroku suddenly chirped. "Oh! I've heard about that one! Although I still don't believe it was really him."

"Say dude, I'll just get in touch with you some other time." Inuyasha convinced. "You okay with that?"

"That's cool. Then I'll see you later. Peace!!" The seller departed.

"Shit! What a nuisance that guy was!" Inuyasha condemned.

Miroku guffawed. "Let's continue shall we?"

"Keh..."

"INUYASHA! MIROKU!!" Shouted a feminine voice.

The two followed the source of the voice and before they knew it, Kikyou ran up to them. The miko seemed to be severely upset. She wore casual jean clothing. "Kikyou? What's wrong?"

The raven haired woman nearly cried. "Guys, it's an emergency!! When I woke up this morning, I'd discovered that my bow and quiver of arrows was stolen!!" She exclaimed. "Not only that, my Shinto robes has been stolen as well!"

"Somebody obviously has a death wish." Miroku replied, sympathizing the culprit that has to face the miko's wrath.

"Damn! Kikyou, you better go see about that!" Inuyasha suggested.

"I have a lead." Kikyou elucidated. "Sangou and Akane told me that the robes were the latest trend among thieves. They especially said that there was a place that buys the robes for a whole lot of money. I wonder what it could be?"

"Hmm..." Inuyasha pondered. "I don't know..."

"Wait a minute." Miroku realized. "Kikyou, that sounds like E-Bay."

"E-bay?" She queried at the foreign name.

"You mean that place way over there?" Inuyasha questioned as he pointed towards an overcrowded court, which was apparently a bidding area. It was too obvious. There was even a huge banner that reads e-bay. "Wow. Look at them go."

Kikyou gasped.

"Uh oh." Miroku nodded. "The crime rate will definitely rise today."

At that moment an announcer spoke into the microphone. "And here, we have a lovely pair of midnight blue panties." He announced. "Not only that it has the inscription 'KIKYOU' on it.! Isn't it lovely? The bidding shall begin at two fifty..."

Inuyasha and, even Miroku, grimaced. "That's a new low..." Then they suddenly cringed in fear as the girl combust into flames. "Umm... Kikyou?"

"So, it was them eh?" She grounded menacingly as she rolls up her sleeves. "The bastards! May they suffer in hell for that offence..."

"Kikyou..."

She gave them a fronted pleasant smile. "Sorry to scare you. Now, if you nice young men will excuse me," Her flare returned. "**_I got business to take care of!!"_** Before they knew it, the miko was already at the court and all hell broke loose.

"Say Miroku, I'm going in this women's fashion store." Inu informed. "Isn't there a store that you would like to check out? Because I may just be in here for a while."

"Alright. Let's split. I meet you here in another hour."

"Keh. Later."

***

Miroku browse the aisles inside a pornography store. According to him, this place had the highest quality. He eyed the shelves, highly fascinated. Then all of a sudden, a specific video caught his attention.

"Hey! I know her!" Miroku exclaimed as he grabbed a box from the shelves. "I went to school with this chick! Man! She lost all that weight!"

Miroku resumed his browsing... "Hmm..."

"High School Heat..."

"Super Freaky Seventies..."

"Getting More Booty Than A Toilet Seat... Interesting title."

"Orgy Party..."

"Fullbacks: A Sports Illustrated Special..."

"Oh! Look at this! Put The Spear in Brittany!!"

"Dragon's Balls!! Ew!!"

"What? 'Turkey & Liquor After Boning?' Strange..."

"Dead Sexy... cool!"

"The Booty Goddess..."

"Sperm's Course & Dukie Love... damn!"

Miroku was overwhelmed. He had to make a choice. "What they heck? I'll buy about five of these. Now the problem remains... How do I manage to slip these videos by Sangou, unnoticed?" He wondered. "Oh well, if she punish me for it, it'll be all worth it!"

The intercom suddenly spoke. "_Attention shoppers!! Pop-ups are on display in five seconds..."_

"Pop-ups, eh?" Miroku wondered. "Sounds good. Bring it on!!"

The shelves suddenly caves out from the wall, gaining enough room for it to spin around in order to present it's new display. Miroku smiled in anticipation as he grinned anxiously. Too bad...

Because he's in for a real surprise...

The next thing he knew, something totally unexpected were now embellished on the aisles. Miroku realizes this and gasped in horror. It were obscene pictures of men... Men on other... It was definitely something he wouldn't tolerate.

"What is the meaning of this!!?" Miroku shrieked highly horrified. "This is the special display!!?"

The television screens embedded on the walls of the store begins to show some of the footage. Miroku covered his eyes with his arms and tried to find the exit. Unfortunately, he fell on the floor.

"Mama!!" He shouted. "Save me!! This is worse than hell!!"

"Ah, get off your high horse!" The employer remarked. "It's not that bad. As a matter of fact, it's beautiful!!" Jakotsu sighed blissfully as he blew his bubble gum.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"

***

Meanwhile in the courtyard. The E-bay bidding was in tragic ruins and male bodies flew every which way as though a tornado had touched down. A certain raven haired girl was indeed taking care of business...

"Where are my bow and arrow? What have you done with my robes!!" Kikyou demanded fiercely as she held a man in the air by his throat. "Onigumo! You bastard!! Why have you stole my favorite pair of underwear!!?"

"C-- CALL THE POLICE!!!: Onigumo managed to yell.

If anyone fails to stop the raging girl soon, there was bound to be some casualties...

****

END OF SKETCH TWO

TO BE CONTINUED IN A FUTURE CHAPTER...

SHOUT OUTS!!

Numisma: What's up? Hey, thanks for tuning in! It was funny wasn't it? Well it's about to become even funnier! Thanks a bunch! Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Was that woman on the "Inuyasha Villains" the Falcon Youkai, Princess Abi? I'm anxious to know! A friend of mine had episode 124... "Farewell Lovely Kikyou". I can't wait to find out. Hit you later.


	3. Warring States Geographic

**Note From Your Boy: **What's up, it's your boy. Well… due to a previous misfortune I had to let this cat out the bag again. Man, I regret having to cooperate with a classmate and have a punk flamer quoting "Two Words: IT SUCKED!!" Though to me, flames are funny as hell but heed my warning… If any troublemaker becomes bold enough to try to aggravate me… it's on! Man, I'd exploded on a few dudes that tried me. It didn't make any sense. And afterwards I had a virus in my computer. I see those busters tried to take me out the game.

I've fallen but now I'm back and more dangerous than ever! I love this site man. I'm hardly on the web but I became real attach to ff.net. I've mad respect for the people here, including the authors and the readers (Especially Hime No Argh's Zelda fan fictions), but I beginning to entitle this site as hostile…

Sad man… for real… There are authors here from every corner of the globe trying to do their thing and yet there are some 'unknown' people trying to bring them down. Please don't worry about what they're flaming about… it's not even worth anyone's time.

Let me get on with this…

Disclaimer: We heard it all before… 

**Inuyasha******

**The Hanyou Hazards**

**Sketch Three: Warring States Geographic, part 1**

"Howdy partners!" The narrator greeted. "It's a lovely day isn't it?"

"Yeah, I bet." A cameraman griped. "Let's just pray that you don't decide to fuck with any venomous snakes or any man eating animal for that matter."

The narrator sighed. "Charming…" He regains his enthusiastic demeanor. "Anyway partners, we have actually managed to travel back in time to the Sengoku Jidai of sixteenth century Japan."

"That's impressive. Am I getting extra pay for any of this?"

"This is an especially superstitious time in Japanese history. In this particular era, beautiful creatures known as youkai roamed the country."

"Youkai? Does that mean demon?"

"Yes it does my friend." The narrator answered.

"Oh shit…"

"Not only that we're here to study their natural habitat. We mainly came her to learn more about their everyday habits: how they communicate, exercise, eat, sleep, have sex-"

"Damn man! We get the picture!" The cameraman ranted. Suddenly a shadow whisked by quickly above his head. "What the hell was that!? It was considerably to big to be considered a bird."

Fortunately for the narrator, he had a quick glimpse of a certain half demon. "It's one of the demons. Quickly we must pursue to learn more about the creature."

"I have a bad feeling about this…"

*          *          *

Inuyasha made his way back to the hut with Kagome in tow. He gently placed her back on his feet as he volunteered to carry her backpack inside the hut. The schoolgirl smiled warmly at him.

"Thanks for the lift, Inuyasha." She merited. "Saves me the strain of carrying an extra load on my back."

Inuyasha obviously didn't catch on to what she was saying. He eyed her figure critically. "Extra load huh?" He especially gazed at her legs…

"Yeah it was quite heavy." Kagome replied sweetly. "It would have been quite a hassle to carry it all the way here." She notices that the hanyou was 'staring' at her. A blush rose to her cheeks. 'My goodness! What's with the odd looks he's been giving me lately? Does he see anything he liked just now?'

"Hmm…" Kagome definitely went through some changes since he met her. She was still impossibly cute and lithe but something else about her concerned him. Maybe it was the 'extra load' was what she was talking about. She definitely matured slightly and grew a little in height, along with longer legs, curvier hips, and broader thighs… not that he was complaining. "It's nicer than before." He confirmed.

Kagome blush brightened. "Eh? What do you mean?"

"Keh. The extra load is nice." He elucidated. "But if you're so concerned about your figure then I recommend that you should stop munching on all the ramen noodles. It's a surprise that  you have a lot left in your backpack."

Kagome's face was once red from blushing, but now from anger. "That's what I meant by the extra load, stupid!! OSUWARI!!!"

"Damn…" That was quickly followed by a thunderous thud. "I was complimenting you, you twit…" He muttered in the dirt.

Kagome picked up her backpack that he dropped. "Well since I'm putting on a little weight from the ramen then that means I shall share it with the others… except you." She dismissed herself inside the hut.

"Grr… sensitive bitch…"

"I'd heard that! OSUWARI!!!"

WHAM! 

"…"

Off at a safe distance from the village…

"Damn!" The cameraman exclaimed. "Oh girl said a magic word and that long haired dude slammed face first into the dirt!"

"This is splendid!" The narrator beamed. "That elusive creature was a dog demon!"

"Man you're crazy!!" The cameraman warned. "If that guy had business to take care of with that girl then let him be. I value my life, you know?"

"No worries." The narrator reassured. "We'll just want to learn more about it's mating habits. You know, since he can mate with human females."

"The same like everyone else does." The camera tried to convince. "C'mon man! This isn't necessary!"

"Well you just sit back and enjoy." The narrator informed. Then, out the blue, he caught a glimpse of Soul Collecting Insects. "What a wonderful period of time, indeed."

The said dog demon sprinted out of the hut all of a sudden. The schoolgirl tries to stop him and she seems to be very upset.

This cannot be good…

**END OF SKETCH THREE**

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. Reminiscing On Wise Words

****

Inuyasha

The Hanyou Hazards

Sketch Four

Reminiscing On Wise Words

He felt like he had the worse possible luck in the entire world. He curse himself for it and even contemplated that he was born into this word only to suffer. And so, he ran... running for his life on the snow littered turf of the new moon night. A fierce, angered, and a all to primal youkai threatened his life. The beast caught his scent and then intends on pursuing him. Inuyasha hated the fact that he have to run from his enemies. He hated it to the fullest. He was certain that tonight he was going to die... either by the fangs of the demon or by Old Man Winter's bitter cold.

"Shit! Why did Kagome had to return to her world knowing that the night of the full moon is tonight!? Damn it! If somehow, I manage to see another day after tonight, I'm definitely going to have a word with her."

Kagome went back to her era in the twenty first century. Sangou said that she must because the school girl had came down with a severe flu. Miroku confirmed that fact as well. Kagome said that she may have to visit the hospital back in her time to ease the virus. Not only that, Sangou, Miroku, and even Shippou came down with the flu and Kagome promised that when she returns she will bring medicine for them.

Inuyasha, was pretty much: Shit out of luck, indeed!

Lost in his thoughts, an unfortunate event happened. The burly reptilian youkai that was chasing him had finally corner Inuyasha. Inuyasha peered over the deep chasm and then discovered that if he were to jump...

...he'll damn sure will make an ugly spot on the ground below.

"Disgusting half breed..." The reptile spoke, it's voice lacking humanity and emotion. "Your kind are like the plague of the lands. You shouldn't never have been born."

"That's nothing new since you full breeds hate me so much..." Inuyasha managed to reply sarcastically, despite there was absolutely anything he could do to save himself. "You're the one who's disgusting... fucking bigot."

The reptile smiled, bearing it's huge fangs. "I can sense it..." It hissed in amusement. "The pain that you have suffered throughout your life... the pain of being a half breed... the pain of losing the woman you love... the pain of the girl from another world whom loves you so much..."

Inuyasha grimaced. He mentally cursed the lizard for it's unique ability: The lizard has the ability to see his victims' life flashed before their eyes right prior to their death. And damn, was the lizard taunting him or what!?

"Now..." The beast said as he slowly begins to approach the frightened hanyou. "I shall relieve you the pain of your life and allow you to suffer a quick and painless death. Any last words?"

"Yeah..." Inu stammered. This was his opportunity for survival. He had to think of a way to defeat this impossible creature. He begins to ruminate on words quoted throughout his life...

KAGOME: _"Inuyasha, you're quite strong but you should consider using your brains for once..."_

IZAIYOI:_ "Baby... you're a hanyou, and therefore, you should really employ your mind... It will prove to be your greatest attribute someday..."_

MIROKU (after clunking Inuyasha on his head after he offended Kagome): _"Due to your lack of comprehension you've managed to hurt Kagome-sama's feelings. Do you realized that she has feelings for you..._

SESSHOUMARU: _"You actually value your Tetsusaiga more than your own head, Inuyasha?"_

SANGOU: _"So... Naraku's the on who had ruined my home village? Just as I was about to smash the Hiraikotsu upside your head..._

IZAIYOI: _"You wasn't born with that big head for nothing, you know?"_

KIKYOU: _"I have the power to purify or destroy any youkai. Though, they are far potent than I am, I rely on my mind and spiritual powers to do my bidding. Inuyasha, when you're faced against an opponent that totally outclass you in strength, speed, and stamina... It never hurts to use your head. A mind is a terrible thing to waste... You do know that, right?_

SOUTA: *Playing Super Smash Bros. Melee for countless hours along with Inuyasha. Inuyasha recalls a certain fat plumber wearing a red hat and jean suspender knocking out countless enemies (Jigglypuff, mainly) by using his head.* "_Whoa! Take that! The headbutt from hell!"_

MOTHER HIGURASHI: _"Kagome! Have a nice day in school today!! Learn something, okay? Feed your mind with knowledge!"_

Inuyasha snapped out of his trance. Those quotes gave him hope... and a idea popped up in his head. The lizard youkai was right in front of him, growling in his hideous glory. It was quite ironic during this dark hour...

Inuyasha smiled...

"Well..." The lizard beckoned. "Anything you would like to do before your demise?"

The grin on his face grew. "Yeah. This!!!" His drew his head way back, tilting his torso back like a rubber band ready to snap. Then, with ferocious force, he drew and tensed his shoulders and swung his head like a deadly weapon. It was the 'Headbutt From Hell". Inuyasha's cranium crushed the lip of the lizard demon and sent him flying in the night skies, and probably, to the other side of the world. He can hear the disembodied pained shriek of the reptile as he soared the skies in pain.

He did it! That's using the good ol' noggin', Inuyasha!!

After the miraculous victory against impossible odds... he really needed to rest. Fortunately, sleep came in the form of the throbbing pain in his head from the risky move he put on the demon. A good night's rest and the headache shall go away.

"Good night..." He smiled blissfully as he fell into a peaceful slumber.

****

END OF SKETCH FOUR

A/N: Live and fight another day...


End file.
